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About Calgary

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then there’s the Lachine River – oh man, it winds past the outskirts and gives you that deep peace, like whispering secrets of the universe as you float away in thoughts. I often tell my clients, “In the river, see reflections of yer soul, mmh?” Crazy, right?

Past resurfaces: toxic substances are leaking from the Northvolt site